A Love Worth Waiting For.....

A letter from husband Sullivan Ballou to his wife during the Civil War.

July 14, 1861
Camp Clark, Washington

My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days—perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more . . .

I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution. And I am willing—perfectly willing—to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt . . .

Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me—perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness . . .

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again . . .

"Good For You Australia"

This was said by the prime minister of Australia, John Howard. Let me know what you think.

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

A day after a group of mainstream Muslim leaders pledged loyalty to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime Minister John Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a crackdown. Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard, hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if they did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its laws were made by parliament. "If those are not your values, if you want a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you", he said on National Television

"I'd be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two laws governing people in Australia : one the Australian law and another Islamic law that is false. If you can't agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps, then, that's a better option", Costello said.

Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave, he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values should "clear off. Basically people who don't want to be Australians, and who don't want, to live by Australian values and understand them, well then, they can basically clear off", he said.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: "IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians."

"However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the 'politically correct' crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia ." "However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand." "This idea of Australia being a multi-cultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. And as Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle."

"This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom"

"We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!"

"Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture."

"We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us."

"If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like "A Fair Go", then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. By all means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others.

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,

'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'."

"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted."

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.

I will lift my eyes

Between impossible papers due soon, hard tests coming up fast, health problems with so many complications, very little sleep, restricted activities, and screwy relationships, I'm feeling a good many reasons to scream, swear, and just generally throw a hissy fit. But I have been meditating on a verse in James 1: 4 that advises me otherwise. I spend my free hours digging through the Bible looking for verses to hold on to as my world spins out of control and I sing myself this song.....

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing
Her melody over me
God, right here all I bring
Is all of me

‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
The Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
So hold me now

So, now that every mountain and every hill for that matter, has become something I literally can't climb, I lift my eyes and ask him to hold me.

100 things about me

I saw this on my friends blog and I think it's a cool idea, so I'm going to give it a shot. Here it goes.....

1) I love philosophy
2) I think mornings are the best part of the day
3) I come alive in the autumn
4) I think the White Mountains in the fall is one of the most breathe-taking sights I'll ever find
5) I love to swing
6) In the spring I go around smooshing ant hills
7) I love hugs
8) I like to snuggle things when I watch movies
9) I wish my hair was long and wavy
10) I don't like to take medicine
11) I've wanted to be a writer since about the third grade and I've never changed my mind
12) I live and breathe books
13) I think Calla lilies are elegant
14) I love photographs of my friends and family
15) I want to travel to every country in the world at least once
16) I love thunderstorms
17) I have never broken a bone in my body
18) I have gone indoor skydiving
19) I want to go outdoor skydiving
20) I am afraid of being alone on cold dark, nights
21) I am terrified of fire
22) End times movies and books scare me
23) Sea turtles are my favorite animal
24) I love moose
25) I love seeing tall, white church steeples sticking out from among the trees against a blue sky
26) I have been to North Dakota more times than you have probably said the name
27) I think Leonardo da Vinci is the coolest man of the renaissance
28) I like being alone with my thoughts
29) I love Winnie the Pooh and especially Eeyore
30) I love the wind
31) I hate it when it's hot
32) I have been to Budapest, Hungary
33) I hate it when kids bash education and religion
34) I love the word September but October has better color so it's growing on me
35) I love to write letters and receiving them is twice as good
36) My favorite time in history is the 1800s
37) I love warm apple cider with cider donuts
38) I've always wanted to Irish step dance
39) Little Women is my favorite book and I've read it at least six times
40) I love the Regency time period and everything Jane Austen wrote
41) I keep a journal
42) I'm teaching myself Russian
43) I hate highlighting, bending, underlining, or in anyway harming books
44) I wish I had one amazing black and white photo of myself
45) My nervous habits are twirling my hair and playing with my necklace
46) Breakfast is my favorite meal
47) I love peanut butter
48) I really love fresh bread/muffins
49) I've seen a full double rainbow
50) I like to think
51) I need plenty of sleep
52) I don't like talking to people I don't know very well on the phone
53) I like warm food on a cold day
54) One of my pet peeves is ditsy girls you are boy-crazy and say "like" too much
55) I wish my hair looked nice long but it always seems to be better short
56) I like to snack on nuts
57) However vain this sounds, I like my eyes
58) I used to wish that my parents had named me Amanda
59) Even though I still like the name Amanda, I love my name and how its spelled
60) I put a lot of value on education, probably too much sometimes
61) My favorite clothing styles are classic and some preppy
62) I can be very shy and extremely quiet (too shy and quiet most of the time)
63) I think books can be some of the best comfort
64) I want my own library in my house someday with floor to ceiling bookshelves and a fireplace
65) I love windows
66) I like to make lists
67) I hate coffee and don't really like to drink soda
68) A good deal of my busyness is self-imposed
69) I like making gifts for people
70) I want to dance in the rain
71) I can work really hard when I need to
72) I get headaches a lot
73) I hate disappointing people
74) I love teals, greens, greys, blues, purples, orange, and very much greyish-blue
75) I love Bible verses when the words I read are the ones resonating in my heart
76) I love pictures that spontaneously capture the moment
77) I love the contrast of the blue of the Aegean Sea against the white stone in photos of Greece
78) I love clean movies that give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside or find my adventurous side
79) I love the feeling that comes from knowing the right answer to a difficult question
80) Sometimes I wish I stayed in gymnastics
81) I like the uniqueness of saying that I am a mime
82) I like being thin
83) I can be very selfish
84) I worry about my habits annoying other people
85) I feel free when I dance
86) I like grey spelled g-r-e-y not g-r-a-y whether it's right or not
87) I love Gaelic
88) I wish I treated other people the way Jesus would
89) Once you have my friendship, it's an awfully hard thing to lose
90) I don't like to dream at night
91) I love my dog Holly and am going to cry like a baby when she dies
92) I have always wanted to learn Hebrew and read the Bible in its original language
93) I love having my family around and spending time with them
94) I want to write a good book, a really, really good book
95) I love the elves from LOTR and have wished I could be one :)
96) I think Tolkien and Lewis were literary geniuses and I'd be happy to write half as good
97) I have often wished to be a L. M. Montgomery heroine
98) "hideous conceit and low self-esteem in equal measure" is what I find in myself a lot
99) I have the hardest time finishing stories and I usually delete them anyway
100) I love God and will follow him all the days of my life

It was hard to think of 100 things at first and it took a long time to do but towards the end I could think of more. This is a pretty random assortment so don't be afraid to ask questions. I'd love to hear what you think about yourself or me no matter how many you come up with. Hope you all enjoy getting to know me a little better.

It's been a while...

Wow, I haven't updated this blog in a loooong time. I guess when a series of posts is unfinished it's rather intimidating to come back and face something unresolved. However, I want to start blogging again so I'm back and refuse to let myself feel guilty for not finishing. Just got to keep going forward. So, for those of you who like reading my blog (I hope there are some) you can look here for sporadic updates.