Interview with a Christmas Tree

Here is a weird assignment that I had to do for Drama class. It's an interview with a Christmas tree. We were supposed to have partners but mine is a freshman and not over inclined to...well, work. So, here is twenty minutes of hurried brainstorming....

Christmas Tree Interview:

Katherine as Sally with Save the Trees, Save the World

Q: What does it feel like to be 57 and just now starting your life's work?

A: I have to admit that is pretty old, even for a tree, and it was extremely frustrating to wait so long. But, of course, now that it is here I don't even think about all that. Being someone's Christmas tree is all I've ever dreamed of.

Q: How does it feel to watch your friends and neighbors being chopped down?

A: It's maddening! What makes them better than me? I mean, just because I have a few holes from the woodpeckers....

Q: Can you tell us what it's like to see someone with an ax walking toward you?

Most people have the wrong idea. They think it's terrifying to see that ax coming your way, but it's more of a relief. It means you've finally been picked!

Q: How did living in your particular forest affect your life?

Well, we're kind of out in the middle of no where so that makes it harder for a family to find you. Only the die hard Christmas celebrators come out to the real forests to get a tree instead of just going to the tree farms.

Q: How do you feel about ornaments?

That's the only part I'm slightly nervous about. There are so many shapes, sizes, and colors and it all depends on the family's taste. Some of those children's ornaments I wouldn't be caught dead in. I'm really worried they won't match my coloring. Oh, for my family out there - I'm partial to blues.

Q: What plans do you have for your future, after the Christmas season is over?

There aren't too many options for Christmas trees after the season is over. Most of us are simply thrown out or cut up for fire wood. A few of the more lucky ones are used for carving or made into something useful. Me, I hope to be planted outside in the yard. It' not a common fate for us trees, but it does happen occassionally.

Q: What is your favorite season and why?

Winter, of course! There isn't much to do the rest of year round. Plus, there's always the hope that this will be my lucky year!

Q: How do you get along with deciduous trees?

If you ask me, I think they're rather jealous of us. I mean, can you imagine being stuck in the woods for your entire life. The only thing they have to look forward to is maybe getting struck my lightening. Not to mention, they lose all of their leaves every autumn! It's positively embarrassing to watch!

Q: How do you feel about Global Warming?

Global warming....what's that?